The Female Consumer; Understand HER Influence.
The Female Consumer; Understand HER Influence. A few summers ago ( oh heck, way back pre COVID ), my house was the place to be for my kids, their friends and all the moms. Around 3:32 pm every Friday, my front door opened and closed as a revolving door in a fancy hotel on the Vegas strip. Kids in, kids out. Generally, the mom’s stayed close to the rose. But the other door that swirled with action was my fridge door! See, I had this rule; no kid was to ask me IF they could get something to eat; they were to take what they wanted. The afternoons would wind down, and the vultures (aka the kids) would stumble into the kitchen to let us moms know it was that time; dinner time. Of course, every week’s meal was different, and they were always excited to know what yummy food would fill their bellies. My dining table sat nine comfortably; I often had 11 or 12 little bums to squish in; magically, we always figured it out. The kiddies would squish in; the moms would plate and serve the food. We placed juice and condiments on the table and let them enjoy the feast, and we enjoyed the (often) hilarious conversations that took place. Like a bolt of lightning, the food was gone, and so were the kids. Rinse, repeat, every Friday for as long as I can remember. You might wonder why I am telling you the story of my kid’s crazy Fridays. Well, one day, not too long ago, I got a call from one of my mom friends. “Katie, how are you?” she started the conversation, “I am good, how have you been? It has been forever since we’ve gotten together” I could hear her laughter over the phone. “Isn’t the saying of the last few years, I miss you!” I smiled. “I miss you too” before I could go on, she cut me off “we also miss our Fridays and I thought you would enjoy what just happened in the grocery store! I was shopping with the kids, going down the aisles as I normally do, when my boy told me to stop. He said, “Mom, get that juice; it’s the one Noah and Ela’s mom had at their house!” So I did, and we talked about all our fun times at your place. We should start that up again; we all miss those Fridays.” We made plans to do just that, and last Friday, I had a house full of kids and a bottle of rose! Here’s how this story impacts you. A CPO in the corporate world is a person who is responsible for the strategy and execution of all product-related activities within an organization. See, women are the Chief Purchasing Officers of the home. She is responsible for making the home (organization) run smoothly. She chooses the shampoo you use, the food you eat, and the products your kids are exposed to and most often, her influence spreads far past just one organization (family) into that of those she impacts; her kids’ friends, her mother, sister, brother, inlaws and friends. She is usually the person most focused on the needs and preferences of those surrounding her. When I got this call, it got me thinking I needed to share this story and the impact she has on your business. For example, every time a kid ran up my driveway, they noticed the car brand I drove, which plays a part in priming their mind for their vehicle of choice in the future. Or like the example of the juice my friend’s son just had to have; he was exposed to it every Friday and remembered it; not only did he remember it, he asked for it, and his mom bought it. Women, do and will continue to, influence all household purchases. Women are the Chief Purchasing Officers in their households and the most influential consumers in the world. We are the economy of the United States. As women have become more educated, with far more financial strength and decision-making abilities, their earning power has grown exponentially. According to Inc., “Women earn more higher-education degrees than men and start new businesses at a faster rate. Women’s earning power is growing faster than men’s. And women now make up more than half of Twitter users and Facebook subscribers.” In fact, according to the Inclusionary Leadership Group, women make or influence 83 percent of all non-business-to-business consumer purchases. Not only do females hold veto power on the majority of purchasing decisions, but they are also a business’s number one referral source! Being aware of her impact is the tip of the iceberg. You must also know her influence, which will only benefit your brand experience strategies so they resonate with the decision maker: the woman. Yet the reality is, most businesses still don’t take this huge female customer segment very seriously, and organizational team members are not given the tools to tailor the customer experience to women. In a very real, male-dominated world, women are still dealing with the long-standing idea of the perceived female lack of power when in fact she has been the main influencer of purchases for centuries. It’s puzzling to me just how few organizations don’t take a closer look at this customer group; after all, she is the most powerful customer. She directly impacts your top line, referrals, and future customer base. Take notice of the brands your kids gravitate to, and ask yourself, is my brand one SHE would stand behind; do I provide an experience that SHE can’t live without? If you are unsure, it’s time to CustomHER Experience.
Accepting the Devine Gift of Grace
I spun out of control a few nights ago, I broke. I cried uncontrollably huddled on the bathroom floor as I questioned why anyone would love me. I rocked back and forth and pleaded out loud “I can’t do this anymore, I can’t feel this way anymore” You might be wondering, feel what? You might even be thinking your life is beautiful, what is wrong with you? You’re not alone; I wonder the same things. Here is the back story in a few simple words; I disappointed the love of my life. I failed to be ‘perfect’, and so I unravelled. Of course, my breaking point didn’t come because of that one moment in time; my breaking point had come to a head after many moments of failing to reach perfection. For weeks, those feeling of failure, had consumed me, quietly, internally as I tried to push through and give myself Grace. Quiet, self-inflicted, disappointment mounted to that night in the bathroom. You see, I have this ideal vision for myself; perfection. I need to be everything to everyone, even when it’s hard. I need to prove that I can, and when I fall short of achieving perfection, I punish myself. I feed myself with negative stories. I tell myself that I am not enough and that I am not worthy of love because I fall short “so often”. It’s a terrible habit I have created. A pattern I try (on a regular) to break; clearly with little success. The cycle goes something like this; I can feel self-doubt creep in, I tell myself all the ‘positive mantras’ that the world says should be enough to help let go of the feelings. I convince myself to ‘let it go’ (whatever that means), and I choose to live in a place of gratitude. All of those beautiful tools are supposed to work, right? Oh, how I wish it were that easy. Unfortunately for me, as quickly as the sun sets and the dark of the night rolls in my fears take over. I trap myself in the darkness I have created, and I slip into the darkness that fear produces not only in our minds but in our hearts and souls. Fear quickly takes control. At that point, my emotions are like a runaway freight train with no breaks. My ability to give anyone the benefit of the doubt (including me by the way) disappears, and then it happens. The sinking feeling that I am alone in all of this washes over me. Did you ever sit on a swing as a child and have your friends spin you around until the swing is so tightly twisted that when they let go, you spin wildly out of control? Well, my friends, that is precisely how my fears reveal themselves to me; like a tightly wound swing spinning wildly out of control. In those moments, I need so much more than myself. Whoa, that’s a lot of reflection to read, keep walking with me here. I promise there is a point to my vulnerability purge. An Answer is Given As if He heard and felt my struggle, a message from my beautiful missionaries came through on Whatsapp. They sent me a link to listen to: His Grace Is Sufficient by Brad Wilcox. They felt I needed to hear his message. Little did I know the Lord was sending me a personal message through them. I must make it known that I didn’t have full intentions to listen to the talk; I thanked them and said I would when I had a minute. But as I sat down to write, I thought I would “do them this favour” and listen so I could say I did. I stopped in my writing tracks; I felt a warmth wash over me, a feeling that I have come to learn that only the Holy Ghost could give. I knew I needed to hear what Brad Wilcox had to say about Grace. His words got me thinking. We hear a lot about “grace” on social media, heck even I have written these words “give yourself grace, you’re doing the best you can”. At times I believe it. I will talk to myself and say those exact words, and I will repeat them until I can convince myself that I believe them. Then I go about my day clinging to those words. The reality is this; I want to think that if I do my best, it is enough (I am enough), but that’s not the case. I don’t honestly believe this. I often wonder who will fill the canyon sized gap between my shortcomings and my desire to obtain perfection? I lean on Grace, or at least that’s what I tell myself. Let’s look at the definition of Grace: a: unmerited divine assistance given to humans for their regeneration or sanctification b: a virtue coming from God c: a state of sanctification enjoyed through divine assistance Nowhere in the definition does it mention that Grace is something we give ourselves. The question becomes, do we rely on the Grace ‘we say we give ourselves’ or do we need to look beyond ourselves for true Grace to be felt and received? When you read the definition of Grace, the word assistance strikes me. Assistance is the action of helping someone with a job or task. Is giving ourselves (or anyone else for that matter) Grace too big of a task that we need ‘assistance’ in achieving it? And if this is the case, then we (by definition) can’t give ‘ourselves grace’. Thayne walked into the kitchen just as I hit what most writers call a “writer’s block”, but for me, I hit the “vulnerability block”; a block that happens when letting myself be honest with myself about my feelings becomes scarier then I like to admit. Instead of stopping myself, I took a deep breath and shared what I had written so far. I explained to him that I
Forgiveness is a Gift You Give Yourself
I am facing judgment and criticism, a lot of it, from those who are closest to me and I am sure from those who I do not know. I bought The Book of Forgiveness on a whim almost two years ago and picked it up two days ago. Why? I couldn’t tell you, but I can tell you that I had an undeniable need to do so. A Morning Awakening It’s 10:15 on Tuesday morning, May 12 2020, I have been reading and journaling for the last three hours. And like I felt compelled to read The Book of Forgiveness, I felt an intense draw to write this post. There is light and dark in life. I believe that the two do a dance that intertwines and separates them all within a few musical notes. Good and bad, happiness and anger can all exist in the happenings of our day. We live in a very social and public time where our life is on display for all to see. I am aware that there is a choice to display our life or not to and in what detail. The decision is made for me because of my career as a speaker and author. For those with a ‘public brand,’ we have a choice: how much do we share? I don’t know how to be any other way but genuine and authentic, which means sharing all the good along with the bad. The Path to Forgiveness I have recently chosen to tell my story publicly through Instagram and blog posts. There is so much light in my life that I want to share with the world. I am but human and darkness exist too, and sometimes they both exist on the same day or even throughout the weeks and months. Telling my story, my truth as it happens in which I am learning is the first step to forgiveness. It was this quote that urged me to type these words. “We cannot walk the Fourfold Path in shame or silence. After all, the first step on the path is telling our stories. The process is not quiet and is not always pretty. It calls for a vulnerability that can be uncomfortable at best. It will ask much of you, sometimes more than you think you can give. However, the gifts and the freedom that will be returned to you are beyond measure.” And while my story will come in bits and pieces, I am writing it and telling it as I remember it. It is my truth, my perception, and my story. Forgiveness Can Take a Life Time It took me almost my entire life to forgive mp parents for our time as children. To overlook their inability to choose alcohol over us or their desire to ignore the fire in front of them. Going through the exercises outlined in the book this morning has been eye-opening. When asked to write down who I need to forgive, my parents were not on the list. I remember telling my story a few years ago. It brought about the same anger and criticism from those in my life (and probably those I did not know) as it is right now. I can say without a doubt, however, that sharing my truth was the start of a beautiful relationship with both of my parents. A relationship built on the foundation of peace, acceptance, and understanding of the fact that they did the best they could with the tools they had at the time. It was my path to forgiveness. Now, even when my mom shares that she feels terrible, I can honestly look her in the eyes and thank her for what happened as it has given me the strength I needed to forge through life. Without that strength, I don’t know if I could endure the chapter I am closing in my life right now. I can look at my dad in the eyes and tell him I love him and that I am proud to call him my dad. With the purest form of love, I can say that I am proud of what he has accomplished and overcome. I chose to forgive but not forget because it is within my story that I have gained strength, character, love, and the skills I need to do life on my terms. Forgiveness is a Choice I have a list of people in my life that I need to forgive. A list I will not share publicly. The stories, my truth, however, is part of my healing. I choose to go down the path of forgiveness so I can walk through life unencumbered. For those that don’t agree, that is ok. It is your choice to walk by my side on this journey, to judge me, or meet me at the end when we decided if our relationship will be renewed or released. “Forgiveness is not a choice you make for someone else; it is a choice you make for yourself.” We Have All Been Harmed, and Have Harmed I do want to make it very clear that I have harmed as well. I am human, heck, we all are. The choice to be free lies at the fork in the road after we’ve been harmed, injured, or hurt. The decision to walk down the path of anger, resentment, and retaliation is your choice. Will you become victim to the hurt others (or even I) have caused, or will you choose to walk down the path of forgiveness? Making this choice will allow you to lift the burden of anger that you carry on your shoulders. I realize that not everyone is comfortable with being vulnerable, that is also ok. That doesn’t mean others shouldn’t be. If you have woken up this morning angry for being harmed ask yourself why? And when you are ready to forgive, start by writing your story.
How Trauma Affects Me (+ You)
We are living during a moment in time where people are displaying more and more comfortability with being vulnerable and feeling more comfortable coming forward with their stories. Maybe it’s the vulnerability of others that have given me ‘permission’ to share my story as freely as I have lately or perhaps it is the need to heal through the written word. Whichever it is I feel in control of my story (and the story I tell myself) when I share it with you. Paralyzed and Highly Emotional Recently, without warning, I have felt paralyzed and highly emotional on several occasions. The pattern goes a little something like this; Thayne will say something, and a rush of emotions will wash over me. In an instant, I feel deadened; frozen. I can’t breathe, and I start to cry uncontrollably. Sobbing really, and this poor man has a look of worry in his eyes as he helplessly watches me. The morning after my last breakdown, I tried to get a run in; to clear my head. While out on my run, I could feel myself slowly (then extremely quickly) losing my steam. I couldn’t catch my breath, and it felt like I was going to faint. I stopped, slowed my breathing and started typing everything I was feeling in my notes on my phone. What came to me was eye-opening. In a matter of a few minutes, I recognized that the years of never feeling like a good enough wife or mom had a profound effect on me. A Constant Battle I am discovering that PTSD is a thing. Not just for those in war but for those living through a war in their day to day life. For some people, these physical responses emerge or re-emerge later in life in response to triggers and stressors. My marriage felt like a constant battle. As a wife, I walked on eggshells in fear of upsetting him or making a mistake. When the mail came, I swiftly snagged the 407 and credit card bill so my spending wouldn’t be questioned. Most of all, I feared the interrogation every time I added a new travel date to the calendar. Every breakdown, disagreement, or argument ended in me apologizing for hurting him, for not communicating well enough or for needing to work harder at making myself better. Past trauma has begun to paralyze me, and it’s been my reality twice this past two weeks. In one instance, I had had a little bit of wine, and I’ll admit I was having fun! I was laughing so hard that a bit of drool came out of my mouth; I know probably TMI, but I vowed to myself to be vulnerable and tell the whole story, so there you have it. Thayne laughed with me and said, “did that just happen?!”. In that light-hearted moment, I broke down. I cried without warning. Uncontrollably. He held me, not understanding how at the drop of a dime, the mood changed. The Need to feel fixed And then it happened again, more profoundly I was worried, feeling insecure about not being enough. Where this feeling came from, I couldn’t tell you, but it was intense. I felt like I was not enough for Thayne. We lay in bed for hours discussing why I was feeling this way. Without resolve, I snuck out of our bed at midnight to journal. Journalling has become my way to understand why I think the way I do. Journalling has become the way I know how I can fix myself. Almost as soon as I tip toped out of our room, Thayne followed. I’m so grateful for him. He came, hugged me, and continuously told me I was more than enough. Thayne spent the next half hour holding me while I sobbed and reassuring me that I didn’t need fixing. He repeated “Katie; you are more than enough just as you are.” During the walk back from my run, I figured it out. I cried because of the countless times I was told not to drink, to get a hold of myself, or to act differently (less fun, more subdued). All the reasons that attributed to how I was a bad wife. All the reasons I needed fixing. When I finally made it home, I felt the urge to google the effects of trauma on a person’s brain. Here is a sentence that explained what was happening. “Sometimes, people can actually feel as though they are reliving traumatic moments in the here and now; their past intrudes painfully into the present, over and over again.” Simply put, I was reacting to the trauma I encountered for more than a decade. The Refiners Fire We often don’t feel the effects of trauma until it’s over. The man who goes to war and wakes up screaming in the middle of the night. A woman that triple checks the locks to make sure abuser can’t get in after she’s escaped him and the humans that consistently question themselves after years of emotional and mental abuse. Years after it’s over; even after they’ve found love. Thankfully, research also shows that we can forge new connections between brain cells, building and strengthening healthy pathways with different experiences after a trauma. The work I am focusing on now is to rewire the old and accept the love I have found. I pray that if you have experienced trauma in your life, you can find peace in these words. And as Thayne tells me; you are more than enough. You don’t need fixing. You are in the refiner’s fire and will come out of this a little smoother and stronger but just as perfect.
Mom Guilt is Alive and Kicking
Even going to the bathroom alone was an impossible task. I was trapped, yes trapped in a house with three kids for two weeks under quarantine. I love my kids dearly. They are great little humans. But the screaming, questions, time consumption, and lack of privacy was all too much for me. I felt I was going crazy yet I felt guilty for not having the schedule down pat. I felt guilty for feeling overwhelmed. I felt guilty about ordering pizza twice in two weeks. And more then ever I felt like less of a mom because I just needed to get out. I can hear the voice in your head as you read those words saying one of two things. Yes, That’s how I feel! I don’t dare to say it out loud, or What kind of mom wants a break from her kids?! Let’s be real. An honest mom would tell you that not only does she need a break from her kids, but she also wants too. I write from a judgement-free space. in my opinion, judging others is one of the least loving things we can do to another human being. I allow you to judge me if you need to. But I also invite you to be open to hearing a different point of view. The downward spiral of ‘mommy guilt’ started nine years ago I have been a mom for nine years. When the twins turned six and Riley was three that I started travelling for work and began down the path of self-discovery and growth. Prior to this time, I was an overly dedicated mom. I still worked full time, but boy oh boy, did I hold myself to a high standard. I only cooked organic from scratch meals. I was present for all drop-off and pickups. Nighttime routines were always on schedule. And of course, I gave all my time to my kids and my husband. And that was just the tip of the ice burg. There was nothing left for me. What I didn’t notice was the drip of guilt placed on me every time I needed something for me, similar to Chinese water torture. Simple things like going to the gym resulted in responses like “when they are napping, or after they go to sleep for the night”. Or the guilt I started to feel when I wanted to have a glass of wine on a Tuesday night because my husband’s policy was that the kids should only see me drink wine on the weekend. The slow infusion of being convinced that wanting or needing something for myself was a selfish act started to paralyze me and make me question my own sanity. An awaking in the making Fast forward to my awakening, career growth and desire to be more than just a mom. This ambition was new and came with travel, late working nights and a lot less time to be the ‘Martha Stuart’ mother and wife once felt I needed to be. Although I was determined and stood up for myself the guilt trips continued and came in the form of questioning, control, and the classic “you care more about your career than us” line that I head on repeat like a broken record. Oh, and let’s not forget the fact that I was ‘ruining’ our kids and that I was told I was an inadequate mom because of my desires and passions. The guilt I felt was so deep and so real that I started to believe like I was a ‘bad mom’. I was (and still might be) part of the 21% of moms that feel guilty ALL THE TIME. That’s a staggering stat, one-fifth of moms live in a place of constant guilt. Here is another crazy stat, 90% of moms feel guilty daily. They feel guilty for not being good enough, whether or not they make the right decisions for the family, taking time for themselves, or letting their kids have too much screen time 😳 (the list of reasons we feel guilty keeps going). Part of these feelings of guilt is self-inflicted. We take the judgement of others; personally. We look at the ‘perfect’ Instagram & Pinterest moms that seem to have it all figured out, and we shelf judge. Insert “mommy guilt” But if you were to take a close look at how social media, the world wide web, marketing ads, and the unrealistically high expectations of those around us are it doesn’t surprise me why we stumble down a downward spiral of self-judgement and guilt. A mindset shift, a divorce, and new love A mindset change and a divorce have brought light to my eyes. The most transformational event during this time has been that the love of my life ( a man I dared to dream about but didn’t think existed) has taught me that I am worthy enough to let go of the ‘mommy guilt ‘ I carry around. He has taught me that it is ok to want to pee in private! This mindset change has brought an uproar of judgement from those closest to me in the form of questioning and statements like “you’re different and how can you say you need a break from your kids.” The truth is; man or woman, mom or dad, we all need a break. Raising kids is THE hardest job one will ever have. I love my kids to bits, that didn’t change. I would do ANYTHING for them, that also remains the same. My kids don’t want or need for anything, status quo. What’s different about me? I care about me, I have let go out the guilt, and if that makes me a bad mom in anyone’s eyes then so be it! I won’t let myself feel guilty about that either. I left quarantine one week ago; I miss my kids, but boy oh boy, do I love my guilt-free time. My hope is that you have
3 Steps To Rewrite The Story You Tell Yourself
I arrived home from almost two weeks in paradise. I took my kids to my boyfriend’s home in Baja over spring break. This vacation was a big deal for him and me because our kids were meeting for the first time. We had 7 (yes, SEVEN) kids under one roof. The Old Story I was Telling Myself When we arrived, we quickly got into the truck to head to the grocery store. Have you ever tried to shop for nine people for almost two weeks? Well, I can tell you first hand it isn’t easy! After two hours in the grocery store, we piled back into the truck and started to review the ‘rules’ while we are all together Kids do all the dishes when mom cooks Show love and kindness to one another at all times No wining, pouting or feeling sorry for yourself HAVE FUN! Simple rules, rules, however, I have not been used to seeing in action. See over the last 5+ years I have been told I should feel guilty for my career choice which in turn turned into: you’re ruining the kids, you’re not a good mom, and you choose your work over the family. The constant repetition of these phrases had me telling myself the following story: “Katie, you must always give the kids everything because you’re never home. You should feel guilty for needing your own time, and if you don’t spend all your time when you’re home with the kids, then you are a bad mom.” The stories I was telling myself resulted in the following actions I allowed from my kids: whining, pouting, feeling sorry for themselves, getting what they want when they want and if they didn’t each of them would cry, kick and scream. They also demanded my time (all of it). I can’t blame my kids; I allowed it because I didn’t feel worthy of love, respect, and kindness because the story I was telling myself was just that; I didn’t deserve it. Back to these ‘rules’, they are simple, but they scared the sh*t out of me. How were my kids going to live up to those rules when they are conditioned to treat me the opposite way? To my surprise, there was only one big meltdown and a few needy whinny reactions. Why might you be asking yourself? Well, my boyfriend sees my worth and now so do I. Fast forward to our return home. We landed in Toronto to find out we were in mandatory quarantine. Fourteen days in a house with three kids that although showed me respect in Mexico (I had help reinforcing it) may not show me as much kindness at home. I went into instant panic mode; sweaty palms, topsy turvy stomach, and frozen heavy legs set in as fear washed over me. Some of you reading this may think I overreacted but if you could peer into a day in the life of ‘mom Katie’ you would understand the reaction and probably agree with it. The first few days were my nightmare come to life. The kids ran wild, didn’t listen, screamed and talked back to me. I even yelled and screamed; yes, I had adult temper tantrums. I made schedules that they complained about at every hour and would cry to get out of everything they didn’t feel like doing. I sent them to their room more times then I can count and hide in my office more times then I’d like to admit. A New Story with New Actions! Today– day seven– I hosted a mandatory meditation as a family called Knowing Your Worth. During the meditation, it struck me that I was where I was as a mom and getting the treatment I was receiving from my kids because I didn’t know (or believe) my worth. My mantra today was “I am worthy of respect, and I act in accordance.” Once the meditation was over, I sat with my kids and shared my mantra with them. Then I asked them to collectively come up with five ways they can show up as a nice person and then come back and tell me their findings. After about 15 minutes, they came back to sit around me and said to me that they would be kind, loving, caring, responsible, and giving. We talked through what each of these characteristics meant and came to one overarching theme: we must do for others by ourselves. They would do for each other and mom, and in return, mom would do for them before herself. We committed to reviewing our commitment to each other morning and night until it becomes a way of living. So that’s where I am at: I have realized my worth and I am acting in accordance to my worth. If you are having trouble gaining traction in life, as a mom or dad, or in business, know you are not alone. The craziness called COVID-19 is our temporary new normal, and our world will go back to the way we knew it, but you can use this this ‘temporary new normal’ to change the stories you tell yourself, take hold of your worth and start acting in accordance. How do you rewrite your story? Here are three ways you can rewrite the stories you are telling yourself: Decide you are worthy of the life you want Make a mantra for yourself “I am worthy of….” and repeat it often Act in accordance with the expectations you have set; what you are worthy of and take the actions to have the life you deserve. For me, I am learning that I am worth respect as a mom and a partner. If you need to hear it, I will say it: You are worthy too.
The Magic of Customer Service
It was a bright and sunny day in June. I drove into the parking lot of the dealership with my music blaring, looking forward to standing after my two-hour drive. The first thing I do when I arrive at a client’s office is a walk around. The only way I can ensure that the teams I’m working with and myself are driving in the same direction is to make these rounds, ask my questions and hear the responses. This exercise is something I do during every visit and with every person! We had been on our customer experience journey together for just a little over three months, and so far, we had already had some small victories along the way with much work. I will never forget this particular moment. When I started with the dealership, the team was dysfunctional, the leadership had no accountability, and the customers were suffering from it. On this day, I started conducting my usual walkabout to greet every employee of the dealership. In our short time together, I could see and feel the transformation; there was one conversation that day that solidified the gut feeling I had. I walked into the Business Development Office with a smile on my face and a skip in my step. The ladies in the office swung around and met my smile with theirs. We spent a few minutes catching up and like I always did, I asked the question, “tell me the good, bad, and the ugly. What is working, and what are our opportunities?” These conversations always reveal the good, bad, and ugly, usually followed by a rant about who is not pulling their weight. (PS, this is normal until the team starts driving in the same direction) This beautiful afternoon was different. I was knocked back by the response I received. One of the ladies looked at me with her bright smiling eyes and said, “Katie, I am starting to see change and progress. We’ve never had this happen in our history. Our team is starting to work together, and the customers are sharing the same feeling. It’s like you have a magic wand that you have waved over the dealership.” As I mentioned, I was knocked back with this response. I was overjoyed and thrilled to see the progress take shape. Inside I was bursting with excitement (if it were professional to do so, I would have done a happy dance!). I was quiet for a moment then responded, ” I don’t hold a magic wand, you and the team have always had the magic within each of you. We just needed to uncover it and free it. YOU are the magic you feel.” That’s the thing; Customer Service is not magic; it is a decision to make magic happen for your team and your customers. I was doing my regular CX article reading this morning and happen to stumble upon the fact that it is Customer Service Week 2019 this week; the theme is “The Magic of Service.” I am ashamed to admit that I don’t pay attention to CX week and when it is each year. I believe that there should be a heightened awareness of customer service in organizations EVERY DAY. However, the theme this year piqued my interest. “The Magic of Service” reminded me of this story, and I thought it was worth sharing with you. While experiences can feel magical to customers when done right, magic is not something that happens sometimes. The magic of service is within everyone, every organization, and every employee if you’re willing to see it and cultivate it. If you are going to focus on anything during ‘Customer Service Week 2019’; choose to focus on uncovering the magic that already exists and nurture it. Walk into your organization today with a skip in your step and a smile on your face. Show your team what magic looks like and foster it within them.
My Experience of Restaurants in Europe, Check Please!
If you follow me on any of my social platforms you would have seen not too long ago I took a trip over to Europe for a little family time and research intermixed. I visited some of the best hotels and restaurants, Italy and Croatia had to offer. I had a goal in mind when making these visits, and that was to observe the customer interaction of those around myself and my family. Then document our experiences. While Europeans are warm and inviting, they don’t like tourists (or they don’t have any customer experience training). I must admit that I am generalizing right now. However, the majority of my experiences speak to the fact that the servers at restaurants either lost their smile on their way to work or forgot how to smile all together! Other than the lack of smiles being a trend that I saw and experienced for myself, there was another trend that (at home) I hadn’t paid much attention to; who is given the check at the end of the meal when a male and female are dining together? Let me explain this further. The first few restaurants we visited, I noticed that our server would give my husband the check. He then passed it to me, and I then paid for it. But, I was not putting any thought into it. Until, one evening our family was walking down the picturesque alleyways of Venice searching for the right restaurant that would serve the best pizza, carbonara, and rose with an outside table for people watching. My kids hopped from restaurant to restaurant yelling “this one?!” of course one of them would disagree, and onto the next, we would go. Finally, we landed in a restaurant that suited everyone’s particularities, and we sat down. Our menus were passed out in the typical old fashioned ‘kids and ladies first’ fashion (Ela, Riley, Noah, me, then Marcel). Our order was taken in the same way; the waiter was looking to Marcel for the decisions in what wine we were going to order and confirmation that the order was correct. With all the logistics out of the way, we patiently waited for our food. Let me tell you that the food was fabulous! I mean, it’s Italy! How could it be anything but fabulous? The service, again, was decent (still no smiles), but what came next was my ah-ha moment! My husband and I were seated at each end of the table and the kids were between us (easier to control them this way!) As the waiter approached with the check I put my hand out, he looked at me, and continued to hand the check to my husband. At that moment, ALL check giving moments came flooding back. Without fail, every check drop has been directed at my husband. Now, I was on a mission! I had to find out why the waiters feel they must give the check to the man at the table, assuming the woman wouldn’t be paying. I talked my husband’s ear off the rest of the trip and at every restaurant going forward. I watched, each time, to see who the check would be dropped with. Without fail, each time, it was given to my husband. As I was on a mission, I started asked the waiter at each restaurant, “Why do you choose to give the man the check over the woman?” Some responses I got: “That’s the way it is; the man should pay.” “The man usually has the credit card.” “I assume women don’t pay for the meal.” “That’s the way I have been taught.” I must say I am ALWAYS the one who pays for dinner, and I genuinely believe it is not cool for anyone to assume that just because a man and a woman are dining together that it is the man’s responsibility to pay OR that the woman is not capable of treating her dinner partner. If it were two ladies or two gents dining the waiter would ask how the check will be settled (split, Dutch, one bill?). So, why is this not done when a man and a woman are dining together? This is another small example of the many ways that a woman’s influence gets overlooked. If she has a say in the restaurant, why wouldn’t she have the ability to pay for the meal or at least be treated like an equal? I challenge you. The next time you are out for dinner with the opposite sex, take notice who the check is automatically given to. If I were a betting woman, and after the experiences I have had, I would say, the man will be given that little black folder.
From People to Pets— The Patient Experience Matters
Lately I have been making it a priority to write down all the experiences I have so I can remember the detail and use these stories to share with you! I found this day to be a unique experience as I was undergoing two patient experiences at the same time. One I was present for and one that I had to check in on. I travel a lot and it’s a rare occasion I am home with some ‘free’ time. During one of these far and few between times, my grandpa was going in for eye surgery. Additionally, my grandmother had been experiencing some severe pain in her hip which she needed to see a doctor for. Unfortunately, her appointment was on the same day as my grandfather’s surgery. My grandpa had help but my grandmother needed a ride into the city for her appointment so I volunteered to take her. In order for me to do this I had to shuffle my dog’s vet appointment around which couldn’t be changed at the last-minute and if I didn’t get him there then he would miss his four-month shot. It all worked out in the end as I magically realized that Uber existed (how I didn’t think of this before is beyond me–lol) and that meant my nanny could take my dog to the vet! My grandma is 93 years old. She is still active and if it wasn’t for this ‘darn hip’ (as she likes to put it) she is in perfect health. We arrived at the hospital, walked to the reception area where we needed to register her for her appointment. We were met by a stone cold faced woman who didn’t even look up from her computer. She asked (in the most monotone voice I have ever heard) for my grandmother’s health card. And when my grandmother had trouble getting the card out of her wallet the lady looked up with a huff and rolled her eyes. My grandma (who is the most pleasant woman you would ever meet) met her eyes and smiled; the woman behind the desk remained stone cold. She proceeded to tell us to ‘sit over there’ and pointed to a row of chairs. We sat and waited, and waited some more. About 45 minutes later someone called “Mrs. Bates” from a doorway around the corner. As I was helping my grandma up the young man called her name again this time with an impatient undertone to his voice. We were not greeted or smiled at; instead we were walked to a secondary waiting room. We finally went in for her visit with the doctor which was a better experience than what we had just gone through but it stopped there. My grandmother needed to get some blood work done to rule out infection and we had to go back to the reception to order a MRI and Bone Scan. As you can imagine this would be overwhelming for a 93-year-old and I could tell it was effecting my grandma. When we got to reception a different stone cold woman abruptly told us to complete the form for the MRI request (which we didn’t know we needed to do) and with no offer of assistance she turned us away. I went back and forth with questions as I completed the form. When we were done and the forms had been faxed we were told to go to the fifth floor for the blood work and so we did. We took the first elevator we saw up to the fifth floor where it was clear that we were in the wrong place. Back down we went, clarified which elevator to take and headed on our way. The experience continued in this manor until the blood work was complete and we exited the building. As I walked back to the car with my grandma I started to imagine how these visits go when my 82-year-old grandfather brings her. I feel very passionate about the patient experience. People are often in their most vulnerable state at a doctors office and there is rarely an attempt to show compassion, make patients feel comfortable. The medical system often treats patients like a transaction! These experiences need to go from transaction to an interaction, and heck maybe even a pleasant experience. The entire experience with my grandmother could have been completed flipped around by a few simple actions: Smiling: A smile is contagious, when a patient is visiting your facility greet them with a smile, smile throughout the interaction meeting your eyes with theirs when you are talking with them. Use the patient’s name: To that person, their name is the sweetest word in the human language which instantly connects them to you and your practice. A rule of thumb in hospitality (which should be adopted in the medical industry) is as soon as you have the guest’s name you must use it. For example, when a patient checks in for an appointment the receptionist is given their name! How hard is it to say “Good morning Mrs. Bates, may I please have your health card?”. Patient’s don’t expect you to remember their name or magically know it before they give it to you but when you do receive this knowledge it is your duty to use it. Patient’s will feel much more at ease. The use of their name will quickly decrease patient’s nerves making the interaction personalized and more genuine. Anticipate the patient’s needs: For example, the receptionist knew that the fifth floor for blood work was difficult to find (she probably gets the same question a 100 times a day) she could make the patient’s experience much smoother by anticipating their needs and showing them which elevator they need to take to get to the fifth floor. There are so many ways to anticipate a patient’s needs; patients will tell you what they need if you are listening. If you are interacting with patients pay
What You Can Learn from an Uber Driver
I arrived into Denver at 7:30am and headed straight to meet with my client. I was feeling awfully tired as I had been up since 4:00am and the night before my daughter was up all night; two nights with very little sleep. The Uber ride to the office was nothing to write home about but it did get me to where I needed to go. I arrived at the office and was greeted by big smiles and hugs which instantly lifted my (tired) spirits! The strategy meeting was fantastic and the team cocktail afterward was fun! I got into a Lyft this time to go to my hotel and again, the experience average at best. I checked in, had to moved rooms, and finally at around 7:00pm went to dinner. By this time, I was practically falling asleep at the restaurant table. The servers seemed to be annoyed with each question I asked and there was a lack of friendly and attentive hospitality. After a bowl of soup and a beet salad I went to bed. My alarm went off at 6:00am. My flight home (from this quick trip to Denver) was at 8:30am. My expectation of my Uber driver; not very high (as all the previous drivers helped set a low expectation). I was greeted by my Uber driver right on time. He got out of the car and checked if I was me by saying “good morning Katie” (not the regular cold call of my name ‘Katie’?). I confirmed it was indeed me who ordered the Uber and he helped me put my luggage in the trunk. I got in the car which was very clean and smelled great which showed he truly cared about the environment he presented his customers. Before he left the hotel he asked if I was ok or if I needed anything I responded “Thank you, I am ok” and off we went. We drove for a few minutes and stopped at a stop light. When we stopped, he turned around with a smile and said “this is your treat!” and handed me a pack of gum. Then he continued to say “keep it with you, use it when you need it”. His smile was so big a welcoming; his words sincere and genuine. At that moment, I was more than satisfied with this Uber experience. But wait! It gets better! As we continued on our route to the airport my daughter called to say good morning. He graciously turned the music down and when I hung up he asked “how many kids do you have?” I responded “three” and with a smile I could not see but I could hear he said “I will give you a treat for each of your kids!” We continued to talk and I found out he has twins that were born on August 4 who were 13 years old (my twins are born on August 2!). He talked about his family with joy and told me how his daughter is the boss of his three boys. When we arrived at the airport he turned around and handed me four different treats (one for my husband as well) from his treat bag that sat on this front seat and said “you don’t want them wondering where their surprise is!” He got out of the car and wished me safe travels as he handed me my luggage. As soon as I got to the airport I pulled out my laptop and started typing; this story was worth sharing. Let’s wrap up this awesome experience with a few learnings for you! My Uber driver flawlessly executed a ’five-star’ experience by: Providing a genuine and personalized greeting: “Good morning Katie!” Anticipated my needs when my daughter called by turning down the music Connected with me by asking questions and engaging in genuine conversation Delivering a +1 when he surprised and delighted me not once, but twice! And finally, he never stopped smiling. This was the icing on the cake; I felt welcomed and important In my experience, organizations can overthink what makes a ‘five-star’ customer experience a reality. The truth is this; providing a ‘five-star’ experience is about being a nice person. When you’re genuinely gracious, thoughtful and caring the experience happens naturally! My Uber driver earned his ‘five-stars’ today!